Swine Flu Festival 2009 is Done (?)

DAMN YOU MATT LAUER, I'LL CHASE YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!

Hey, remember when there was a deadly global pandemic/snoutbreak of H1N1 Swine AIDS and then everyone died, but then they actually didn't? No? That's okay, we don't either. It sure is hard to pay attention to or care about anything for longer than 30 seconds these days, what, with all the Twitters and 24 hour news cycles and such grinding your consciousness to a numb pulp. Anyways on to the next thing, right? Let's see, today's top headline on CNN is, I'm not even joking, "Obama Administration Jumps into Twitterverse". Damn it all, it's like we don't even have to try anymore with the Twitter jokes.

All jokes aside, there are still active cases of Swine Flu, and as with any virus, shit could still get real at any time. As of today, there only have been 642 documented cases and 2 deaths in the U.S. You can get a detailed breakdown of that info here, at the CDC's H1N1 Myspace page. The WHO reports that 23 countries across the world have reported 1893 cases. 942 of those cases were in Mexico, including 29 deaths. That sucks, Mexico! LAY OFF THE CARNITAS, MEXICAN BROS! That stuff sure is good, though...

Anyways, I guess PS Swine Flu coverage is basically done, since it's the most boring pandemic EVER. If anything H1N1-related develops though, check our Twitter first for the most up to date Swine-News. HA PSYCH WE DON'T DO THAT. But really, we will probably blog about it.

Swine Flu Spawns Social Gesture With Dumbest Name Ever

Welcome to the New World Order

According to CNN, your #1 source for retarded H1N1 (pronounced 'hiney') Swine Flu news, nobody in the world is kissing or high-fiving or terrorist-fist-jabbing anymore because, duh, Swine Flu. America's favorite doctor/fake Surgeon General Sanjay Gupta recommends that if you really want to show physical affection to people during this infernal crisis, you should do an 'El-Bump' which is probably short for 'elbow bump' (?), and is also a Mexican hymn for those who have died of Swine Flu. CNN then immediately provides you with a link to Sanjay's Twitter, because we all know CNN has a huge boner for Twitter, and also wants to encourage the spread of misinformation about the 'snoutbreak' of Swine Flu. HMMM we are beginning to see a trend here: CNN + Twitter = Swine Flu!

WARNING: Twitter Will Kill You With Swine Flu

APORKALYPSE NOW!

What is Twitter? I don't know from personal experience, but I've heard that it is something on the Internet where people post random things and then make random comments about other people's random things. And then they all pleasure each other anally. Apparently, since the "outbreak" of "Swine Flu" (otherwise known as BACON LUNG), people have been just cold freakin' out on Twitter about it and randomly stringing together words that may or may not form complete sentences. The result is a lot of misinformation about Swine Flu emanating from Twitter, not unlike the stink lines that come out of poop in cartoons. So basically, if you get Swine Flu, it's because Twitter, the end. This is certainly not a feather in the cap of the Internet's darling micro-blogging site. It is, however, a feather in the cap of this macro-blog, because - ummmm - Twitter is stupid?

Here is Another Informative Swine Flu Website:

http://doihaveswineflu.org/

Should You Be Worried About Swine Flu?

Is this guy worried about Swine Flu? Not so much.

This website will answer this burning question for you: http://shouldibeworriedaboutswineflu.com/

Twitter to Facebook Swine Flu transmission confirmed

I lol'd.

Your Praise Science Swine Flu Coverage Begins Now.

Alt LOLCaption: I CAN HAZ PANDEMIC???

As most of you probably now, the world now has to worry about human transmissible Swine Flu along with its countless other awesome problems. It was suggested to us, by loyal reader Betsy, that Praise Science should have an on going special feature covering interesting, relevant, a funny news regarding Swine Flu and its funny name. This is an awesome idea Betsy. SWINE FLU COVERAGE STARTS NOW! So any of you contributors lurking out there, look for PS worthy news on SWINE FLU and make sure to include the SWINE FLU tag. Also, you readers, do the same and email us at praisescience@gmail.com if you come across anything good.