More "Xanadu: The Musical," thanks to the miracles of science

Obviously, the world needs more spandex. Sure, it's synthetic, so it would seem we could just make more if we need it (like printing money!) and also, it's sort of a niche market fabric, mainly produced for Olympic athletes and rave kids (hey, the same markets that drugs are made for!) so I don't blame you for thinking that I am wrong, and that, in fact the world does NOT need more spandex. But science proves me right!

Such as, you know, scientists in my back yard of San Diego, who have apparently genetically engineered e.coli bacteria to excrete the key ingredient in spandex. That's right, if you think spandex looks like shit, you are right! Literally! So anyway, e.coli shit is actually a pretty cool thing, because it reduces the amount of fossil fuels used to manufacture the ingredient 1,4-butanediol. And as I'm sure you know, 1,4-butanediol (BDO) is used to make car parts, pharmaceuticals, and other things that people can buy. Like drugs! FOR THEIR SPANDEX INVOLVING LIFESTYLES!

Praise science, indeed.

Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The thing about science is, it's useful for knowing things and proving things and stuff like that. Facts. Science is full of 'em. BUT RANDOMLY SAYING THINGS DOESN'T MAKE IT SCIENCE. Even if you use a fancy bar graph.

You know the one about the crazy old cat lady? Like if you don't do what girls are supposed to do and get married and have a bunch of babies, you'll end up with a bunch of cats with elaborate names, smelling like cat piss and eating microwaved dinners and watching like, Matlock?

Fast Cities came up with a hypothesis, which was something like "the cat friendliest US cities will also be the places where cat ladies dwell." They test it by comparing some data from the US Census and some other wierd ranking of "Cat Friendliest Cities" made by the "CATalyst Council." They are able to reach this scientific conclusion: "Not even close!" How do they reach this conclusion? Because more single men than single women live in these "cat friendliest" cities.

And they include a graph:





So, that means literally nothing. It is like saying sometimes it rains and also I like hamburgers. There are so many variables in this. How many cats do these single men own? How many cats do the single ladies own? Has anyone put a ring on it? Are these men moving to Tampa because they hear they treat cats real nice there? Are they in pursuit of crazy cat ladies, thus throwing off the data? Could we possibly get a psychologist in on this team of geniuses, to determine the level of crazy?

This one goes out to a very special planet...

"Earth (my favorite planet)" by woodleywonderworks

Earth! What's up! It's your day!

Yesterday, not so much. Sorry about that, but it's hard to aim for a garbage can when I'm speeding down the freeway in my Hummer. Especially since I can't roll down the windows and waste the air-conditioning that I have to blast! to the max! since it's getting hotter and hotter every year. Ha ha, global warming.

Anyway, I promise not to throw my styrofoam out the window, or my cigarettes, or the gasoline tanks that take up precious room in my awesome Hummer. Today is about you! It's the day to recycle! Even toilet paper! Literally, the sky's the limit, according to chemists. No hairspray in an aerosol can for me!

Actually, I figured out that while my carbon footprint is over twice the average in the world, for an American, I'm doing pretty good! My carbon emissions level is half the level of the average American, in fact! Find out yours, and what you can do to lower it, by using the Carbon Footprint Calculator.

2008 Science Grab-Bag!!! (i.e. a bunch of stuff from last year that I never got around to posting)

Mr. Grab Bag has something special for everybody...

Hello Dear Readers. As you may well know, if you frequent this fine weblog, last year was full of tons of rad Science-related stuff, such as the awesomeness known as the Large Hadron Collider (and its subsequent suckage), the discovery of water on Mars, Robert Ballard being a total badass, and of course, the founding of the most influential Science-Enthusiast blog EVAR, PRAISE SCIENCE!!!!! But sadly, due to laziness and booze events beyond our control, many PS-worthy stories fell through the cracks and we couldn't get to them before the year came to an end. So, without further ado, I present to you a prime selection from the Island of Misfit 2008 Science Stories:

• Kinetic Fireball Incendiary Weapons: Basically, some sort of bouncy-rubber-fireball-nightmare-projectile straight out of the mouth of some alien in a Doom/Quake/Contra video game. The Pentagon designed this horrifying, bouncy, burninating weapon to eliminate WMDs without the risk of ejecting harmful materials into the atmosphere by ricocheting around inside reinforced bunkers and incinerating everything nearby at a temperature of 1000 degrees F. Frankly, this sort of thing just scares my shit out.
  
  
• Single Person Rocket Pods: A Danish company is working towards "developing a series of suborbital space vehicles - designed to pave the way for manned space flight on a micro size spacecraft." Here is what the entire crew cabin of said spacecraft looks like:
  
  Hope you aren't claustrophobic. But seriously, manned space travel technology has been stagnating basically since it was first developed, and this sort of innovation is exactly what we need if we ever want to stop dicking around in Earth's orbit and get somewhere cool, like the Moon or Mars, again.
  
  
• The KEO Time Capsule: I love it when people think about things on a larger timescale than just a human lifetime or subsequent generations. Science, technology, and knowledge are not bound by the time-constraints that we humans are used to thinking in. The KEO is a spacecraft/time capsule that will be launched in 2020/2011. It will carry a number of artifacts (hit the wiki link for a full list) representing our species and our various cultures as they currently are, including "the contemporary 'Library of Alexandria', an encyclopaedic compendium of current human knowledge". It will complete its long orbit and return to Earth in 50,000 years as a sort of combined introduction/epitaph from us to our descendants (or whoever may be in the neighborhood). Fucking Awesome.
  
  
• Copernicus' Remains Found: If you know who Nicolaus Copernicus is, good. If not, here is a courtesy card and an explanation. He was the dude who figured out that the Earth orbited the Sun, not vice versa, and basically flipped the bird to all the authority figures of his era and a bunch of other assholes by doing so. His final resting place was a topic of speculation until scientists recently matched DNA from remains found in a Catholic cathedral in Poland to that found within hairs discovered inside manuscripts written by this Champion of Science. Additionally, reconstruction of the recovered skull closely matched portraits of Copernicus, painted when he was alive. I think he would have been stoked to know that such great Science was going to be used to figure out his final resting place. R.I.P. dude.
  
  ... and now for some videos
  
  
• 10 Dimensions Explained in 11 Minutes: Theoretical physics is undoubtedly awesome, but due to its theoretical nature, its pretty hard for plain old Science Enthusiasts like you and me to understand. Here is a sweet YouTube that describes the 10 dimensions crucial to String Theory in a relatively easy-to-understand way:
  
  
  
• Earth PWNED in HD by an Asteroid: If you haven't seen this already, it's a must watch. Hit the link here, and be sure to click the "watch in HD" button. I recommend you that you kick back, turn up the volume, and crack a beer. Sic transit mundus.
  
  ... and finally, a post-modern minimalist art critique of Star Wars
  
  
• Star Wars, A New Heap; or; How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Death Star: This... is... just......... I don't even know what to say about this.

ANYWAYS, welcome once again to a New Year of Science. Thanks for reading, and we love you. COMING SOON, a special "Ask Praise Science!" feature, featuring a question from the ever inquisitive Stu H.!