Beijing Olympic Games aka ShitStorm 2008

Everyone loves the Olympics. For two weeks every other year, the world's fastest, strongest, and most skilled do their thing and impress us all/make us all feel disgusted at ourselves for being such out of shape slobs. I am probably more excited for the upcoming Beijing Summer Games than I have been for any other Olympics, but not because of the feats of athletic prowess that may (or may not) occur. No, dear readers. Instead I am eagerly anticipating how much of a fucking disaster it is likely going to be. This Olympic Games has the potential to go down in history as one of the most fucked up, if not the most fucked up ever. Below, I shall list a sampling the reasons why the International Olympics Committee is going to be pissing their pants come 8-8-08:

• Drought! China already uses pretty much all of the water from the Yangtze and Yellow Rivers as well as many other water sources to (not really) provide enough water for its cities. Will the increased demand for water during the Games lead to disaster? It's a good bet.
• Ter'rists! Between al-Qaida, Muslim extremists in Mongolia, and Tibetan activists, somebody is sure to try to kidnap someone/blow something up. China is not fucking around with their security. Be prepared for either an act of terror or an extreme (and probably lethal) crackdown on protestors by over-zealous police forces.
• Weather Control! (Aha! Here's some Science!) Not since the Weather Dominator exploded in Cobra Headquarters has a weather control experiment had the potential to go so wrong. In a highly publicized attempt to prevent rain during the Games, China is using the controversial technique known as cloud seeding (which nobody is sure even really works). BONUS!!! China has some of the best smog and air pollution in the world. I'll do the math for you: The world's best athletes + the world's worst air = EPIC FAIL!!!
• China's Media Paranoia! Although things are not as bad as they used to be, China is still a communist state, and thus is a huge control freak when it comes to free flow of information. NBC has a $1.5 billion exclusive contract for coverage of the Games, but even they are having issues figuring out how the hell they are going to pull this off. When you turn on the teevee to see the Olympics will anything happen? When someone breaks a world record in Beijing, does it make a sound?

Science, I cannot wait!!!!!! It's not that I hate the Olympics. I just can't turn my eyes away from the planet sized trainwreck that is probably going to occur. Do you blame me?

On a related note, here is an interesting article from the best sci-fi blog on the tubes, www.i09.com, entitled "Five Ways Technology has Changed the Olympics". Enjoy!