Don't Fear the Reaper

Godzilla does not fear the reaper. You should not either.

Okay, so Halloween may not be the most Scientific of holidays (are any holidays that Scientific, really?), but we still love it. We hope all of you people have some wicked fun plans and costumes. I can personally assure you that at least one PS editor is going to be blacking the fuck out experimenting with time travel this evening.

In the meantime, here is a scary Halloween tale of how the zombie apocalypse was narrowly averted (postponed?) once upon a time in 1994. It goes something like this: A barely alive Gloria Ramirez shambles into an emergency room in Riverside, CA with an extremely low heart rate and advanced breakdown of numerous internal systems. Nurses and doctors on the scene report strange smells emanating from Ramirez' body as well as a strange oily sheen upon her skin. Upon drawing blood, a nurse sees strange particles floating in the syringe, takes a smell, and faints. No one is quite sure what happened after this, other than the fact that multiple others lost consciousness and the ER was evacuated and sealed. 45 minutes later, Ramirez was reported dead from kidney failure related to cervical cancer, but its more likely that she succumbed after taking a shotgun blast to the face or being decapitated by an axe at the hands of a courageous-doctor-turned-zombie-slayer who first had to reconcile his solemn oath to protect life with his overwhelming desire to survive. No conclusive scientific explanation was ever reached to explain the events that transpired upon this grim February night. It was speculated that Ramirez had been ingesting dimethyl sulfoxide, a dangerous solvent, which had reacted to create toxic fumes within her body. In our professional opinion, this is a cut-and-dry case of TOXIC ZOMBIE BLOOD. Close call. If this crisis hadn't been averted, there is a very good chance that we would all be dressing up as zombies this Halloween, and every other day, forever.