It is not only humans that will suffer in the coming hard times
Hey guys, I don't know if you've been reading any non-Science related news lately, but the economy is pretty much collapsing beneath us and all the politicians and economists and people with retirement funds are like totally shitting their pants because they have no idea what is going on or what is going to happen tomorrow/in a week/in a year. So basically, fellow Praisers of Science, what that means is that before we know it, we could be in the midst of a (hopefully zombie) apocalypse. What are you going to do to ensure your survival? Here are some helpful tips that might give you the Scientific advantage you need:1) Get one of these:
Combat-Survival Prius; 'nuff said.2) Get as much guns and ammo as you can, because face it, we all know that God ain't coming to save you.
3) Get as many solar panels/wind turbines as you can, because face it, we all know that God ain't gonna keep that Counter Strike server running.
4) Use your 401k (psh like any of you have one), before Wall Street fat cats completely destroy the retirement funds of middle class America, to invest in a Svalbard Global Seed Vault to ensure that our ancestors will be able to re-create the bio-diversity of Earth after the Dark Ages that are sure to come.
5) Invest in a homebrew beer laboratory. This segment of chemistry is perhaps the most vital to humans, plus if you are able to become a post-apocalypse Beer Impresario, you will be the richest, sexiest, most powerful human in the inevitable doomscape of the coming future.
Ummmm... beer, video games, food.... what else is there really? Let us know in the comments if you have any other pertinent suggestions. Anyways, take these words to heart PS readers... we wish you luck, and maybe we'll see you at the 2020 Praise Science Post-Apocalypse Reader/Zombie Meetup Extravaganza!!!
5 comments:
Number five is in the bag, I'll bring the beer in 2020. What about shelter? I suggest something that protects against radiation, from which you can shoot at zombies safely. In fact, an onslaught of zombies to be killed might take care of the need for video games...
i say we take this over: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheyenne_Mountain
also this: http://www.missilebases.com/properties/index.html
i usually look to Waterworld or Tank Girl for my survival techniques. I want one of those pee-conversion machines and human-kangaroo mutant soldiers. and i think maybe we should kidnap all the scientists working on bending light/cloaking as well as stem cell/regenerative therapies. If it's going to be the apocalypse, i want to live forever AND be invisible. And we should probably hire Fusionman on as the leader of the new world. Jet packs trump zombies any day of the week.
unless he tragically is bitten... then we would have jetpack zombies on our hands!!!!
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