Who wrote "the moon rules - #1" on my car... with a key...?

I hope you can see this, NASA, because I'm doing it as hard as I can.

I take back what I said yesterday NASA. We are through forever (?). NASA's LCROSS mission to bomb the Moon to hell (that I got up at 4am to try to watch) was possibly the most boring thing to do with the Moon ever. I couldn't see the impact through my 5" telescope. When I tried to find the footage that NASA promised LCROSS' 'shepherding vehicle' was going to take of the event, all I found was this lame video of the surface of the Moon getting closer and closer and then just freezing. No shaky cam to static and explosion noise or anything. They really need to hire Michael Bay to produce their next Moon bombing. The only good part was at the end when some NASA guy went for a high 5 and got totally denied. Did they even find water like they were trying to? Who knows.

I expect that some better images of the event taken by amateur astronomers are going to surface sometime soon. If they do, I will try to post them here. Until then NASA, don't call me. I'll call you.

NASA to Moon: GO DIE

Tonight is the Moon's last night on Earth

NASA must have gotten a new PR team or something, because after months (years? decades?) of being boring they just announced something awesome out of the blue: NASA is going to bomb the moon. Yes, they are going to fucking BOMB Earth's moon, The Moon. NASA, I just can't quit you. You may have been dropping the ball pretty hard lately, but then you go and win back my heart by exploding the shit out of something in space.

Anyways, in all seriousness, NASA is going to crash an explosive probe into the the Moon's southern polar region in an attempt to uncover frozen ice that may exist within craters that never are exposed to sunlight. If you want to watch it (and see this post in time, you probably won't because Praise Science has been greatly lacking lately and you have no reason to check it on a daily basis) Gizmodo has some good tips.

NASA says people with 10 inch (or bigger) telescopes will be able to view this happen in real time. How auspicious and timely! I recently have acquired a telescope in a game of chance. It's only a 5" telescope I think, but fuck 'em, I'm going to try to see it anyway, and then report loyally back to this blog. This is supposed to go down at 4:31 AM PST (what time is that on the Moon?????????). I don't know if it is even possible to get up that early, but I've heard about people doing it before, so I am going to try. I'll let you know how it goes.

This is a big fucking horse

Indeed, a big fucking horse. His name is Poe. He's British.

Also, without the UK's Telegraph, my life would be void of awesome animal news.

Goodnight Moon.

Like this, but with a telescope (also with guitars)

Somehow I, of all people, have, through some strange twist of fate, never looked at the Moon through a telescope. Until tonight that is. I bought a telescope (a really nice one) from a thrift store today (for really cheap), and I'm pretty sure it has changed my life. I'm still in a daze right now from the thrill of it all. Stay tuned for some homebrew astrophotography once I figure things out and buy the adaptor for my camera.

Help Me Understand

Someone explain to me why we should bother with the ISS for one second longer and why we should put one more shuttle into orbit. According to the Blue Ribbon Commission on Human Spaceflight we don't have the cash to make it back to the moon, but for $30 Billion more we can probably do it. So why not dump the ISS already and get our moon bound asses into gear and into that cheddah?

A post for the ages

I have been absent from Praise Science for many a moons. I blame work and lack of English skills. However, this is my triumphant return! And I give you this video, which has more than 258,000 views as of this writing. That's an exclusive for Internet standards.

That's No Moon...

... it's a space station!

Hey guess what? NASA has tasked the ISS to flyover the United States for the next few weeks, in honor of FREEDOM, so you can finally see that $100 billion orbiting double-wide trailer that everyone loves to hate. I'm pretty sure it will be visible to the naked eye, but if you have a telescope, that is cool too. NASA has a sweet web applet that will tell you the times of flyovers in your area, so fucking get out there and look at it and then comment all about your amazing ISS viewing experiences, right here on PS.

Praise Science Members Unite!

Comfortable couch, but not so practical.

Quick shout out to brainpiece for providing me with a sensory deprivation sleep chamber while I was traveling across the earth at sub-light speeds. Could it have been a precursor to the "First Annual Praise Science Drink-a-Thon: A Night of Boozing with the Stars"?

A Gentlemans' Wager Part II: The Plot Thickens

European scientists have detected salt particles within giant geysers blasting from Saturn's moon Enceladus. This could be evidence of a subterranean ocean beneath the moon's crust, and could satisfy one of the three "secret ingredients" of life, liquid water. Previous studies have shown that Enceladus already had the two other ingredients, an energy source (tidal warming), and organic chemicals.

Do Saturnian micro-lifeforms exist? Will they start a Twitter account? Will Peter buy Kyle an expensive dinner and spend the rest of his life in enduring shame? THE SUSPENSE!!!!

Evolution Hot

Evolution is fast when it's warm.
DNA mutations more likely, transform.
Abundance of tropical species swarm
Explained in verse form.
Praise Science don't misinform.

Neither does BBC...

Unit FAIL!

On the Moon, NASA, we use the metric system.

Hey, guess what? NASA is being criticized for its decision to continue using imperial units as its standard system of measurement. O RLY? I can't imagine why. Maybe it's because pretty much every other important scientific agency/company/evil madman's laboratory in the world uses the METRIC SYSTEM.

One of the major issues NASA raises when confronted with this decision is the cost that it would take to convert decades worth of software and systems to a metric format. Is it really that hard to convert feet to meters? OKAY OKAY I guess that is kind of a good point. So, hey government, give NASA more money and we will no longer be the laughing stock of the global scientific community! Also, the Constellation Program, NASA's planned replacement for the doomed Space Shuttle, is being built on top on 30 years worth of imperial-based Shuttle technology and dimensions. Wait, so the replacement for the outdated Shuttle is being designed using outdated Shuttle technology? UGHHH! NASA, try harder!

Spaceport America Groundbreaking Begins and Construction to Be Completed... Never

Artists Conception: Reality Promised to Be a Lot Less Shiny

Spaceport America in the deserts of New Mexico has just begun its groundbreaking ceremony and construction will begin tomorrow. Lets hope that it takes a cue from the lovely airport hubs of our nation and constantly insists on "upgrading" roads and terminals resulting in never ending construction zones, abominable aesthetics, mind-numbingly stupid architectural layouts, and ceaseless jack hammer sounds.

A Gentlemans' Wager

There can be only one.

bulltrout: I bet you that within 10 years (2019, June 13) there will be no sign of organic life discovered by humans, within a 5 light year radius of our solar system.
Guster: I accept your bet and state that by June 13th, 2019 there will be promising and verifiable signs of organic life within a 5 light year radius of our solar system.

Stakes: A Fine Dining Experience will be procured from the loser of this wager by the winner of this wager.

Additionally the winner of this wager will gain ultimate shit talking mastery over the loser for all eternity.

(Ed note: Any and all contributors/readers of Praise Science may place side wagers on this, the penultimate* of all planetary astro-biology wagers.)

So it shall be written.
So it shall be done.


*(Let us not forget the Great Sagan/Hawking wager of '84)

Palin's Hometown Acquires Giant Battlemech Superiority, No Wolf or Clear Minded Individual is Safe!

Giant battlemechs have been the dream of both Japanimation freaks and cooky DARPA engineers for decades. Now the dream has become a reality. But to the horror of both these esteemed groups and the rest of the civilized world the dream has been realized by an army mechanic working out of his garage in Wasilla, Alaska. This could mean that an army of buffont sporting mega robots could descend from the North to liberate the Joe-sixpacks and hockey moms (really? americans still play hockey?) that the rest of us have kept in submission for half a century. My advice, outfit your various motorcycles, dirt bikes, mopeds, motorized razor scooters, and segways with tow cables to disable the monolithic beasts, because if these Wasillians are smart they will surely make their armor to strong for blasters.

NIF may be SOL

For those who have not been following the ins and outs of fusion related technologies a behemoth of precision technology is about to go online. The National Ignition Facility is set to fire its 192 precision lasers through thousands of focusing crystals, that may or may not have come from stolen lightsabers. and amplifiers. Though it could take another year (much like a big circular tube in Switzerland I seem to remember going online a while back) to actually achieve fusion capable energies. With a price tag of $3.5 billion it makes you wonder why the department of energy didn't just hire Doc Oc to complete the task in a beat up riverside warehouse, aside from the fact that he is brutally insane. Along with the worlds largest lasers the NIF boasts one of the worlds largest vacuum systems (eat your heart out Martha Stewart) to battle against the arch enemy of optics systems, dust. If successful this system could create a miniscule star in its target chamber as the lasers heat a tiny pellet of hydrogen fuel to 100 million degrees fahrenheit at which point it may either collapse and produce fusion energy or end all time and space as we know it (or maybe just fizzle and pop). Lets hope that these scientists are not destroyed by government types resembling Morgan Freeman from Chain Reaction or that they are not actually building a giant battlestation with the power to destroy an entire planet.

All Your Dreams Are Coming True!

Hooray! Our brand new sister-site has finally launched! PRAISE SPANDEX!!!

More "Xanadu: The Musical," thanks to the miracles of science

Obviously, the world needs more spandex. Sure, it's synthetic, so it would seem we could just make more if we need it (like printing money!) and also, it's sort of a niche market fabric, mainly produced for Olympic athletes and rave kids (hey, the same markets that drugs are made for!) so I don't blame you for thinking that I am wrong, and that, in fact the world does NOT need more spandex. But science proves me right!

Such as, you know, scientists in my back yard of San Diego, who have apparently genetically engineered e.coli bacteria to excrete the key ingredient in spandex. That's right, if you think spandex looks like shit, you are right! Literally! So anyway, e.coli shit is actually a pretty cool thing, because it reduces the amount of fossil fuels used to manufacture the ingredient 1,4-butanediol. And as I'm sure you know, 1,4-butanediol (BDO) is used to make car parts, pharmaceuticals, and other things that people can buy. Like drugs! FOR THEIR SPANDEX INVOLVING LIFESTYLES!

Praise science, indeed.

News Flash: Monkeys That Bone Like Rabbits Now Glow Like Rabbits.

Pretty cute, except under UV light.

Congratulations to marmosets, the latest species to join mice, rabbits, cats and pigs in the glowing animal clan. These animals all have a protein (GFP, first found in bioluminescent jellyfish) attached to most every other protein in their body, which gives them an eerie neon-green glow under UV light. The green glow helps scientists visualize how complex biological systems work in live animals. Now scientists are one step closer to doing just that in higher primates. Pretty cool if you're interested in llearning about human diseases in nonhuman animals, but some people are worried. Every popular media article I've read on the monkeys features the ethical issue of experimenting with the genetics of our close ancestors. So, what do you think? Is altering inherited DNA in monkeys a step too far towards genetically engineering humans?

Science Humor: Getting Shit Done.

Some Ol' Nonsense

Scientists got to get paid too. The lab bench is hard knaamean and scientists gotta hustle to stack papa. word up. Listen up young scientists: The best way to get paid in science: imbue your findings with unwarranted, myth-fortified meaning and promote the shit out of them. Promotional website; believe dat! History channel documentary; true. Dr. Jorn Hurum be blowing up fo sho after this one; chrome dubs on the benzo; on the real. For everyon else, put your skully on and realize that the idea of a missing link is not only not science, due to it's inability to be disproven, but that gross anatomical similarities in a single animal shouldn't even come close to satisfying the conditions for a transitional species. Enjoy your ignorace bitches.

Face Off: still not real.

Remember that cool nineties movie where Nicholas Cage is a badass, and John Travolta's a sissy, but gets to play a badass the whole movie, due to a facial transplant in a (not so) clever exchange of protagonist and antagonist? Well, it turns out we actually have the technology and surgical skill to "Face/Off" people. The first face transplant in the US has been performed on an Ohio woman who got shot in the face with a shotgun. She can now breath again, and lots of people are saying she looks beautiful. I think the first transplant patient looks better, but paper bag comments aside, It's cool. This surgery, however, did not employ the super hip face removal technology in Face/Off, enabling a criminal to transplant a face in a matter of minutes, but instead took 22 hours and weeks of recovery. Previous face transplants have involved fierce dogs, bear attacks and tumors.

The guy who got the first hand transplant had it removed, because he felt like he had a dead guy's hand on his arm. I hope Connie's new face suits her.

Swine Flu Festival 2009 is Done (?)

DAMN YOU MATT LAUER, I'LL CHASE YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!

Hey, remember when there was a deadly global pandemic/snoutbreak of H1N1 Swine AIDS and then everyone died, but then they actually didn't? No? That's okay, we don't either. It sure is hard to pay attention to or care about anything for longer than 30 seconds these days, what, with all the Twitters and 24 hour news cycles and such grinding your consciousness to a numb pulp. Anyways on to the next thing, right? Let's see, today's top headline on CNN is, I'm not even joking, "Obama Administration Jumps into Twitterverse". Damn it all, it's like we don't even have to try anymore with the Twitter jokes.

All jokes aside, there are still active cases of Swine Flu, and as with any virus, shit could still get real at any time. As of today, there only have been 642 documented cases and 2 deaths in the U.S. You can get a detailed breakdown of that info here, at the CDC's H1N1 Myspace page. The WHO reports that 23 countries across the world have reported 1893 cases. 942 of those cases were in Mexico, including 29 deaths. That sucks, Mexico! LAY OFF THE CARNITAS, MEXICAN BROS! That stuff sure is good, though...

Anyways, I guess PS Swine Flu coverage is basically done, since it's the most boring pandemic EVER. If anything H1N1-related develops though, check our Twitter first for the most up to date Swine-News. HA PSYCH WE DON'T DO THAT. But really, we will probably blog about it.

Mars: Hoaxes and a rare case of NASA not blowing it.

My grandma sent me an email with an attached powerpoint: "The Red Planet is about to be spectacular!" There is an email circulating claiming that "This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on 
Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be 
certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth 
in the Last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 
60,000 years before it happens again. 

The encounter will culminate on August 27th when
Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and
will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in 
the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9
and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide."

This was all true in 2003 and I'm pissed I missed it. Thanks for the tease grandma.

Mars is, however, closer than ever in another way: The mars rovers are kicking ass. Opportunity, the second rover on mars, has gone 16 kilometers, about an order of magnitude further than it was ever expected to go. The plan is to send it another 16 kilometers to a big crater. Good job little guy! Thanks to some serendipitous winds that have cleared the rovers' solar panels, the rovers have done better than ever. Keep an eye on the rovers' progress. 
 


Swine Flu Spawns Social Gesture With Dumbest Name Ever

Welcome to the New World Order

According to CNN, your #1 source for retarded H1N1 (pronounced 'hiney') Swine Flu news, nobody in the world is kissing or high-fiving or terrorist-fist-jabbing anymore because, duh, Swine Flu. America's favorite doctor/fake Surgeon General Sanjay Gupta recommends that if you really want to show physical affection to people during this infernal crisis, you should do an 'El-Bump' which is probably short for 'elbow bump' (?), and is also a Mexican hymn for those who have died of Swine Flu. CNN then immediately provides you with a link to Sanjay's Twitter, because we all know CNN has a huge boner for Twitter, and also wants to encourage the spread of misinformation about the 'snoutbreak' of Swine Flu. HMMM we are beginning to see a trend here: CNN + Twitter = Swine Flu!

Murs is a scientist too!

WARNING: Twitter Will Kill You With Swine Flu

APORKALYPSE NOW!

What is Twitter? I don't know from personal experience, but I've heard that it is something on the Internet where people post random things and then make random comments about other people's random things. And then they all pleasure each other anally. Apparently, since the "outbreak" of "Swine Flu" (otherwise known as BACON LUNG), people have been just cold freakin' out on Twitter about it and randomly stringing together words that may or may not form complete sentences. The result is a lot of misinformation about Swine Flu emanating from Twitter, not unlike the stink lines that come out of poop in cartoons. So basically, if you get Swine Flu, it's because Twitter, the end. This is certainly not a feather in the cap of the Internet's darling micro-blogging site. It is, however, a feather in the cap of this macro-blog, because - ummmm - Twitter is stupid?

Here is Another Informative Swine Flu Website:

http://doihaveswineflu.org/

OH SHIT PS PASSES 10,000 UNIQUE VIEWS

We work hard for those page views, so hard for those page views...

LOL WUT? When we weren't paying attention (between 4PM and 11PM today) Praise Science passed 10,000 unique page views. Although the awesomeness of all PS contributors and all PS articles and all PS readers is undeniable, we have to admit that many of these page views came from random Google searches. But, if we weren't so awesome to begin with, then Google wouldn't have ranked us so high in all related searches to begin with, right?

The "It's Natural" Argument

Anyone familiar with the late night ads for penis engorging or age reducing herbal supplements is also familiar with the argument that objects coming from nature are in all cases beneficial to us Humans. But let's look at some things that come from nature:

Sharp Teeth: Made by Nature

Found in a Forest near you!

I'm now on the DHS blacklist for googling anthrax

Seriously people, don't listen to Rep. Bachmann. Nature is trying to kill you. At all times. Watch out.

Should You Be Worried About Swine Flu?

Is this guy worried about Swine Flu? Not so much.

This website will answer this burning question for you: http://shouldibeworriedaboutswineflu.com/

Twitter to Facebook Swine Flu transmission confirmed

I lol'd.

Your Praise Science Swine Flu Coverage Begins Now.

Alt LOLCaption: I CAN HAZ PANDEMIC???

As most of you probably now, the world now has to worry about human transmissible Swine Flu along with its countless other awesome problems. It was suggested to us, by loyal reader Betsy, that Praise Science should have an on going special feature covering interesting, relevant, a funny news regarding Swine Flu and its funny name. This is an awesome idea Betsy. SWINE FLU COVERAGE STARTS NOW! So any of you contributors lurking out there, look for PS worthy news on SWINE FLU and make sure to include the SWINE FLU tag. Also, you readers, do the same and email us at praisescience@gmail.com if you come across anything good.

Earth Day Followup...

Comedy Central's Indecision Forever blog posted this funny (and relevant) thing entitled "Top Five Dumbest Pieces of Internet Pollution this Earth Day". Here is the best part:

Natch.

Conclusion: We need an Internet Earth Day too, where idiots and mouth-breathers are BANNED FOREVER from not only the Internet, but their computers, and summarily given a courtesy card. Hopefully, this would this help reduce the amount of soul-destroying bullshit (streaming in mainly from wing-nut message boards and comment pages) that is clogging up the Tubes. It will also single-handedly solve the global climate/energy crisis by reducing global computer usage by 95% (read: 95% of the people using the Internet are retards/Internet polluters). All problems solved, forever. BAN HAMMER FTW.

Happy Belated Birthday Hubbel

The lovable billion dollar telescope celebrated its 19th birthday on Friday.  Years before you transfered megabytes of info from your bluetooth enabled phone, the Hubbel was transferring terabytes of info a year from SPACE.  It has traveled more than 2.8 billion miles while circling the earth.  And it is one of the most productive scientific instruments ever built: scientists have published over 7,500 scientific papers from Hubbel data.  Praise science.  It outlasted GeoCities by 4 years and its still going strong.  Here's to another 19 years and continued enjoyment at the planetarium.

Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The thing about science is, it's useful for knowing things and proving things and stuff like that. Facts. Science is full of 'em. BUT RANDOMLY SAYING THINGS DOESN'T MAKE IT SCIENCE. Even if you use a fancy bar graph.

You know the one about the crazy old cat lady? Like if you don't do what girls are supposed to do and get married and have a bunch of babies, you'll end up with a bunch of cats with elaborate names, smelling like cat piss and eating microwaved dinners and watching like, Matlock?

Fast Cities came up with a hypothesis, which was something like "the cat friendliest US cities will also be the places where cat ladies dwell." They test it by comparing some data from the US Census and some other wierd ranking of "Cat Friendliest Cities" made by the "CATalyst Council." They are able to reach this scientific conclusion: "Not even close!" How do they reach this conclusion? Because more single men than single women live in these "cat friendliest" cities.

And they include a graph:





So, that means literally nothing. It is like saying sometimes it rains and also I like hamburgers. There are so many variables in this. How many cats do these single men own? How many cats do the single ladies own? Has anyone put a ring on it? Are these men moving to Tampa because they hear they treat cats real nice there? Are they in pursuit of crazy cat ladies, thus throwing off the data? Could we possibly get a psychologist in on this team of geniuses, to determine the level of crazy?

GeoCities: An Ode to Thee

My homepage from 1996-1998

10 years ago (that's 1999 people, had you even heard of the Internet then? If anything defines the dotcom boom, it is this), Yahoo bought GeoCities for over 4 BILLION DOLLARS. This is fucking insane. I never realized this. Now Yahoo has announced that it is shutting down GeoCities for good, sometime later this year.

I was going to write something funny and nostalgic about GeoCities, and how in retrospect it really sucked balls but how like half of my life on the Internet was characterized by using library computers to do WebCrawler and Lycos searches for Super Nintendo cheat codes and Star Wars trivia that yielded poorly formatted GeoCities pages. Instead, I think it's appropriate to reflect on actually how fucking badass GeoCities was for being 2.0 before anyone else ever thought of that shit. It's true. Although GeoCities was/is home to 95% of the Internet's worst HTML, it also is one of the first websites that allowed users to easily create and share their own content with other people on the web. If that concept sounds familiar, it is because EVERYTHING YOU DO ON THE INTERNET TODAY IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS WHAT PEOPLE ON GEOCITIES WERE DOING 15 YEARS AGO. Minus the scrolling text marquees and .gifs, that is. Unless you are still using MySpace. For Science's sake, PS is Web 2.0 as it gets. Thank Science for GeoCities!

In any event, I guess it's time to migrate my My Little Pony fansite from GeoCities to AngelFire. I hear that is the new hot ish...

p.s. I wonder if Yahoo was ever able to recover the $4bill they sank into GeoCities? HAHA WE DOUBT IT. It may have been ahead of its time in some ways, but as far as dolla dolla bills go, the 21st century has got the 1990s beat. Can you say MONETIZATION???

This one goes out to a very special planet...

"Earth (my favorite planet)" by woodleywonderworks

Earth! What's up! It's your day!

Yesterday, not so much. Sorry about that, but it's hard to aim for a garbage can when I'm speeding down the freeway in my Hummer. Especially since I can't roll down the windows and waste the air-conditioning that I have to blast! to the max! since it's getting hotter and hotter every year. Ha ha, global warming.

Anyway, I promise not to throw my styrofoam out the window, or my cigarettes, or the gasoline tanks that take up precious room in my awesome Hummer. Today is about you! It's the day to recycle! Even toilet paper! Literally, the sky's the limit, according to chemists. No hairspray in an aerosol can for me!

Actually, I figured out that while my carbon footprint is over twice the average in the world, for an American, I'm doing pretty good! My carbon emissions level is half the level of the average American, in fact! Find out yours, and what you can do to lower it, by using the Carbon Footprint Calculator.

Science, Protect Stephen Hawking!

Stephen Hawking is in the hospital and is reportedly very ill :( :( :( This is totally shitty news. Keep this true Knight of Science in your thoughts. We hope he has a quick and complete recovery!

Robot Penguins

I like robots. Their stiff, mechanical movements evoke nostalgia for the robots of Sci-Fi lore, and hope for the future were robots will clean my entire home, instead of just vacuuming the carpet. However, there is a strong Uncanny Valley effect with robots that replace rigidity with life-like fluid movements. The FEMA Big Dog video wherein they kick to robot, and it stumbles over itself before finding balance is one example. These new autonomous swimming penguin robots create the same weird feeling that soon enough, these robots will grow tired of being kicked, poked, and prodded, and just subjugate the entire Human Race.

March of the Bionic Penguins (Genre: Horror)

God Banned From Facebook for Violating TOA

TROLLZ == BANNED!!!!1

Pirates Are Suddenly News Again to People That Aren't 10 Years Old

Artist's rendition of pirate life in Somalia

Piracy is a fad that is generally considered to have gone out of style in the late 1700s and early 1800s when those that were being pirated got wise and co-opted the strategies of pirates into something that has become known as Capitalist-Democracy.

If you happen to frequent web pages such as www.newyorktimes.com or www.bbc.com or www.cnn.com or even crap like www.drudgereport.com you are more than likely aware that recently it has become trendy to lose 80 pounds and buy a zodiac boat and reenact the popular series of modern pirate documentary movies produced by America's #1 racist/fascist movie studio. Normally we wouldn't talk about crap like this on PS, but it falls into two relevant categories: the on-going Pirate vs. Ninja vs. Robot struggle (Robots FTW, duh, watch Terminator 2), as well as something that Robert Ballard might get his hands into. Anyways, you are probably being lied to about what is really going regarding this latter-day spate of Piracy. Read this to learn more.

In other pirate related news, four individuals linked to the very influential Bittorrent hosting site (aka Internet file sharing) The Pirate Bay (the site is still online. The URL is www.thepiratebay.org. You should go to it, and just, like, go crazy) have been sentenced to a year in prison in addition to significant fines. This is IRONIC because, like, Vikings from Sweden and Norway were the O.G. pirates, back in the day. This is the latest lame strategy launched by major recording studios and media companies in an attempt to remain relevant. All four of them plan to appeal, and since the trial is taking place in Sweden, they will probably be acquitted. We certainly hope that is what happens.

PRAISE SCIENCE!

Oh; Praise Science!

On this date, one year ago, this web-log came into existence! What began so long ago as a childish dialogue about Science-related topics over the Internet between friends has since evolved into an even greater childish dialogue about Science-related topics over the Internet between friends! But seriously, and I hope I speak on behalf of all other contributors, Praise Science has been, and continues to be, a huge labor of love for us. I am truly stoked that this silly blog has lasted this long with such great feedback and widespread contribution from all of you!

Anyways, let's get down to business. Since this blog clawed its way out of the primordial ooze and into the evolutionary cesspool known as the Internet , shit's been crazy, as far as Science goes. Tons of (non)relevant stuff has happened. Let's make a list:

• Praise Science answered practically every Science-related question anyone has ever had.
• NASA did awesome shit. And also sucked pretty hard.
• The Large Hadron Collider, arguably the greatest invention ever created by Man, came online. Then it broke.
• Tons of fools got courtesy cards, for not being SMRT.
• Great fun was had, via gChat
• And, uh, basically, everything. Just read the blog, and hit that 'Older Posts' button for some srs Science and lulz.

So, thanks again for a great year, all of you friends, enemies, and neutral parties. May this coming year be even more Scientific and fucking awesome for us all!

Oh, you know how girls are with sparkles

"Decorative Sparkle" by Abby Lanes

Praise science for setting me straight. I read Twilight (for, uh, research), and I was under the impression that Vampires are beautiful and cannot go into the sun because their skin is glittery and it will sparkle too much. But you know what? That is not true. 

Turns out, Vampires are dudes with rabies, and they can't go in the sun because it will give them bleeding gums and seizures. That is straight scientific fact. Wanna know what else happens to people with rabies (aka Vampires)? They become insomniacs, and also the blood-spitting seizures happen when they look into mirrors (naturally) and smell strong scents like garlic. And like, wanna know what else? Vampires started showing up (in legends) at the same time as rabies outbreaks. 

Special thanks to Stephanie Meyer and Juan Gomez-Alonso, the neurologist who realized the scientific truth in 1998. Mad props, y'all, and happy one year birthday, Praise Science! 

Pinnacle of Coziness Technology Achieved, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Snuggie

Also good for posing in, apparently.

You have probably heard of the Snuggie, especially if you are really into Harry Potter or belong to a cult.

This shitty piece of cloth with a hood and holes in it has been dubbed the 'raiment of the zeitgeist' (it's not, btw), and its creation and marketing represent one of the first stages in a growing global crisis known as the "Cold War of Comfort". Other competing blanket-garments advanced onto the stage and the resulting "Coziness Gap" between competitors destabilized the world to the brink of Global Thermo-Nuclear Blanket War, leaving millions living under a shadow of fear, uncertainty, and very comfortable lounge-wear.

As the world teetered on the edge of a comfort apocalypse, some smart fucking dudes went ahead and played their trump card: Enter the Lippi Selk Bag, the ultimate in comfort atire. I AM BECOME COMFORT, DESTROYER OF WORLDS! We are all doomed.

Oh, Here is Some News:

FUCK YEAH.

On Saturday April 18th, 2009, the Praise Science web-log turns one years old. That is craziness. Things have admittedly been slower in the past 6 months than they were out of the chute, but it's cool. We are still here, Praising the shit out of Science. So expect some sort of super-rad-one-year-commemorative-retrospective-feature(tte)/Children's Treasury of PS History. Also, if anyone has any burning Science-related questions they must have anwers to, email that shit into praisescience@gmail.com BEFORE SATURDAY, and Praise Science will make all of your 1 year birthday wishes come true.

Praise and Follow Science!

This could be you...

Hey, look over there, on the side of the page; there is a new thing! Use it, and become not only a true Praiser of Science, but also a follower of this blog. What does this 'following' mean, you ask? I don't really know. Something about a cloud and 'Web 2.0' and collaboration. Also it will make me happy. So show your support and pride for this blog and FOLLOW IT NOW!

Science Fair winner

It looks like this child won some type of award for her project. Not only for providing excellent information on AIDS, but also including all components of the traditional scientific process: hypothesis, materials, procedure, and conclusion.

Existence of Twitter Finally Justified

Okay poop is coming out.

Here is one of the greatest questions of our time: WHY DOES TWITTER EVEN FUCKING EXIST???!??!? A man, who must be a great philosopher or something, has come up with the answer to this burning question. He has programmed his office chair to "tweet" to a "Twitter" "page" every time he farts while sitting on it. Here is a link to said Twitter page and also to a technical explanation of how this latter day renaissance man hath achieved such enlightenment. There haven't been any updates in 19 hours as of this posting. We assume this is because the creator of this device achieved Nirvana and transcended this plane of existence so he can no longer provide input to the chair.

Bacterial Communication

The TED talk series has been highlighted on this blog before, but I would like to point out one specific talk on the ability of bacteria to communicate with each other. The speaker, Bonnie Bassler, speaks at a frantic pace for twenty minutes straight, so be prepared to dedicate some time to the endeavor. However, it left me quite amazed, so I would recommend the full viewing.

Bonnie Bassler: Discovering bacteria's amazing communication system

Controlling Lightning

Would you like to trigger lightning strikes?

Would you like to be able to choose where the bolt strikes?

Well, all you evil scientists are in luck. Scientists have developed a method that may be able to induce lighting, and best of all it involves lasers.

Full Story

Goodbye Encarta

You've had a good run, but Microsoft is finally discontinuing the encarta franchise later this year: http://education.zdnet.com/?p=2328

My aging bones remember sitting in front of the computer perusing encarta to short-cut on my research paper about the Titanic.  Now I can go to wikipedia and copy and paste a lot more information.  Did you know that the Titanic housed both a Turkish bath and a squash court?

Goodbye Encarta, you have served us well.

Undersea Volcano Erupts

The Boston Globe's Big Picture Series has an impressive collection of shots detailing the eruption of an underwater volcano in the South Pacific. If you have any interest in thing that go boom, and I know you do, I would recommend checking out the full gallery.

Teenage Dinosaurs hang out in swaps, cause trouble, expirement with drugs, get stuck in mud.

Paleontologists have recently discovered a group of teenage (juvenile, not literally teenage) Sinornithomimus dongi in the Gobi Desert of Mongolia. The find presents a new understanding of thunder lizard social dynamics. The adolescents stuck together and got into trouble, while the parents raised the young. Sounds vaguely familiar.

Approximation of my bedroom's appearance circa 1989

Happy Pi Day Dudes!

Sounds about right.

March 14th is Pi Day (3-14, get it?) If you happen to see this today, make sure to do something nerdy in honor of everyone's favorite irrational number. If you would like to know more, here is a website with lots of interesting Pi-related features such as "What do you like about Pi?" and "Pi raps on Youtube". Huh wait. Pi Diddy? lulz.